Six Weeks Until?

Can you guess? What happens in six weeks? If you guessed November you are correct. Sadly, you have not won a prize. Please do not cry. What happens in November? I will give you a clue. It happens every November in the bloggy world. Yup, NaBloPoMo. Still, no prizes! I figure that maybe if I start working on making drafts NOW just maybe I can get through and manage to post a post every day and that maybe I won't be too boring and I will be able to save my noggin from getting banged into the wall every time I try to rouse a few brain cells into action. So, who is going to give it a go this year? You never know, maybe you will win a prize and if not from the NaBloPoMo people, maybe I will come up with something for the person who amuses me the most.

Oops

I forgot.

Having It Bad

Mateepr says hi. He wants you to know that he is miffed at how he is being ignored. None of his ideas are getting used. He said that if he is not treated better soon he may run away from home. He thinks that Ben, Sam or Noah would be glad to take him in.




He says that he would have it much better there. They don't have dogs so he won't have to smell their gas anymore or live in fear of getting chewed up and spat out or getting chewed up and having to go through Frankie's digestive tract or worse yet, getting chewed up and ate by Roscoe and ran through his digestive tract then picked up by Frankie after being expelled by Roscoe and then ran again through another set of intestines.

Two

They say that bad things happen in threes. Maybe good things happen in threes too but I have never paid attention to that. The negative seems to get and hold our attention more than the good things. Bad thing #1: the element in the oven burnt out. Bad thing #2: My central vacuum decided to quit working today. I already have it at the vacuum hospital and the vacuum doctor phoned but I was still out running errands one of which was to get a new element for the oven. It is fixed. The Swanson Pot Pies are cooking away right now. Yup, I knocked myself out with that meal. I call it widow food. Widow food is anything quick and easy and that you can cook in the right amount so that their are no leftovers. Toast qualifies and is a major staple. I came up with a new yummy idea at the grocery store. I have been having problems motivating myself to eat fruit. I bring it home and forget it is there and it goes to rot. I just threw out five pears that I had forgot were living in my fridge. Today I bought one of those lovely fruit platters that you usually get if you are entertaining, the kind with the delusions dip. Oh, yum. I am eating that as I wait for the pot pies to cook. Hmmm...I have somehow got off topic. I went from bad things to fruit. Back to the bad things. I wonder what is going to break next. I hope it is not any badder than #1 and #2. yum...that is good cheese... Jalapeño Havarti...and some olives and Stone Wheat Thins. I have moved on from the fruit. This is what happens people when you munch and blog at the same time.

Needful Advise

Caution

Don't stand in one place too long in the slushy icy mess early in the morning or you may freeze in place. If it happened to me, it could happen to you.

Yay!

If you use Charmin toilet paper, you can enjoy going more often so if you have been holding your bladder trying to save some pennies, you don't have to anymore. Who would have thunk it?

Wow!

If you use Bounce Dryer Bar you can save valuable time. You will not know what to do with the spare 30 seconds that you gained by not using dryer sheets! Think about it. If you do two loads of laundry a day you will save a whole minute. Seven whole minutes a week! Add that up for a whole year! Wow! I would think there would be a stampede to get Charmin and Dryer bars. With all the time you save you will have more time to enjoy peeing. I know, that is what we all want.

From Becky

Dear Mommy,

Oh please don't stop,
Your blog is the top(s).
I like to come here,
and while I drink beer,
I read and I laugh,
at all of your gaffe(s).

Through all of November,
if you can remember,
to post once a day,
anything you might say,
to me on the phone.
Just throw me a bone.

I'll (and I think I speak for all of your loyal readers) take whatever you wanna throw out there Mom. I (we) don't expect Pulitzer prize winning literature. I love your blog. And on days when you really have nothing, I'll be happy to give you an idea, or if you're really desperate, I'll write you a whole post. I've done it before. I'll do it again.

Love your loving daughter,
Becky

Early Bird

Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.
That may be good for a man but all it does for me is make me want to crash around 4:00 p.m.

The early bird gets the worm.
I say fine. Let them have it. Who in their right mind wants to go digging for worms when the sun comes up anyway. Who in their right mind wants to dig for worms at all. What in the world would I do with them even if I were so inclined?What do the worm diggers do in the winter when the ground is frozen solid and is like a piece of concrete?


Not making much sense? I was up too early. I do not feel healthy. I do not feel wise. I feel stupider as they day drags on. I am going to go and have a nap now.

Insignificant

Sometimes I think about weird insignificant things, alright, let me correct that before somebody else does. Often I think about weird and insignificant things. Ya should have seen what I just wrote before spell check! I can hardly function on the keyboard this morning let alone spell. It feels like my hands are not really attached to my body or the fingers belong to somebody else and I am trying to use them for the first time. I wonder what it would be like to have all the fingers on your hands transplanted with fingers from somebody else. What would it be like hypothetically if that happened to me and I got man fingers with hair growing out of the knuckles or worse yet fingers from a chimpanzee. Perhaps there would be some positive. Maybe I would not be so challenged when I am fighting with a stubborn jar lid or I would be really good at getting kites out of trees. Oh but, I digress. That is not the insignificant thing that I was going to write about although I have to admit it is typical of all the insignificant things that I think about. The insignificant thing that I did plan to write about is: Where do all those childhood potty jokes come from? Are you sitting there and scratching you head? Are there no potty jokes floating around in your brain that were planted there during your childhood just waiting for some odd cue to cause them to come blurting out again into the light of conscience? Things like:

Book: Yellow River
Author: I. P. Nightly

or that beloved poem:

How dry I am
How wet I'll be
When I can't find the bathroom key

and there is the old stand by:

Jean had a machine
Joe got it going
My dad let a fart that blew it all apart

Truth be told, may dad could blow one that could destroy machinery especially after drinking buttermilk. I used to think that some perverted old man used to think these things up and whisper them into the vulnerable ears of little children. The older I get and the more I am around little children, boys in particular, the more I am not so sure about this theory. I think the reason that I have not rethought my beliefs is the fact that I spent the time my kids were growing up in shock that resulted in to being pretty much oblivious to pretty much everything as a survival technique. After listening to all the scatological humour that my grandsons enjoy so much and listening to them try to outdo each other I am sure that such things evolved from the fact that all their brain cells have not been as of yet filled with information and they are simply trying to fill the void. Eventually Ben, Sam or Noah will hit on something that rhymes with buttocks and perhaps it will go viral spreading across the globe although some of the genius may be lost in translation but in the mind of a child, it really does not matter.

National Treasure or Blame It On America

When the NDP were in power they sure made a mistake when they decided that potatoes was where the money was resulting the infamy that is now know as SPUDCO. If they were smart, which we all know they are not, they would have brokered a deal and acquired Tim Hortons. THAT is where the money is. That is why the Americans brokered a deal and now own it so logically when snagged up in the traffic jams caused by the drive through lines just blame the USA. That is much more politically correct, these days anyway, in Canada, than blaming the poor addicted slobs fouling the air with smog as they burn half a tank of gas waiting in line to get their morning or afternoon or on the way home hit of which by the way I have never been a part of. I go inside. I get the warm fuzzies just thinking about it. Dang! I sure wish I knew what they put in there so I could reproduce it perfectly. It is not the grounds because I have bought those, put it through my expensive coffee maker and it is not the same even if I go all out and make it a double double. Funny, every Canadian probably knows what a double double is. For my American friends, if you ever find yourself hijacked and your life depends on proving that you are a Canadian and you are asked what a double double is the answer is: double cream, double sugar. Repeat that. Say out loud: "For the life of me, Double Cream, Double sugar." Good. That knowledge may one day save you life.

For those of you who have been here today keep in mind that she does not like the smell of coffee brewing, let alone drink the stuff unless it is a Mocha Frappuccino. Now, I do have to admit that is a wonderful invention but it is more like a dessert than anything although I have seen the odd person come rolling into work carrying one even in the winter. I have also seen that same lovely person turn a tad manic searching for the nearest MF (Mocha Frappuccino) dispensing facility (Starbucks) and end up going way out of her way to get her shaking hands on one instead of stopping at the Timmy's we just passed and substituting it for a perfectly good Ice Cappuccino from Tims for half the price. Now she would probably try to get you to believe that the difference is like apples and oranges, I would say that it is more like raisins and prunes.

I love you Timmy.

Honey, I Am Home

I am tired and can't think of a thing to write that does not require effort. I just want to relax and watch TV. I went all out and did two posts yesterday so that counts. Right? All right. I will give you this. If you think you have had a bad day maybe this will put things in perspective.

Mateepr

I would say ingly picked. Bwaa Haa! Have a Mateepr day.

I think that I had better save this on draft and hope to goodness that some inspiration comes my way in the next 13 hours and yes I would have to save that. I am sure in half an hour I would forget the one sentence that I managed to write and would have to start all over again. Robot guy has been no help this morning even though I threatened to fire him and go to the store and buy a new computer mascot, one that may have a few ideas kicking around amid the gears and whirligigs.



It is amazing what a few minutes to ponder my threat have done for Robot Guy. The three minutes I took to go and pour myself a fresh cup of java were enough for the ideas to come gushing out of him. I am so pleased that I think I will give him a name. I dub you Mateepr master of word verification. I will save the ideas for tomorrow. I will not waste them on today, after all, I have managed to write a whole paragraph on nothing. OH MY GOODNESS! Mateepr just stuck his tongue out at me. Cheeky thing!

I Need Help

OMG...It IS November first. I almost forgot. Whew! That was close. It is almost midnight too! I don't have a clue how I almost forgot. I am sitting amid a pile of candy wrapper litter and all the other remnants of Halloween. NaBloPoMo always comes directly after Halloween and left over candy always sustains me for at least a weeks worth of blogging and that alone should have clued me in.

It is hard to believe that a whole year has gone by. It is hard to believe that I survived. It is hard to believe that I did NaBloPoMo last year.This year is going to be a challenge. My life is pretty darned boring and for the most part uneventful. I would love my friends to help me by coming up with topics to write about. If I learned one thing last year it would be that I can get by with a little help from my friends...so...HELP ME. Feel free to give me a topic or a word or just anything to help me get going. PLEASE...I am begging you or else you are going to get blogs about dogs, cats and dreams.

For instance: I dreamt that I had become a rock star. You should have seen me on stage playing my instrument, the Jock-in-a-box...oops and HEY! They should make those....I meant to write: the Jack-in-a-box. Could I ever crank that box fast. The singer had a hard time keeping up. The crowd loved it. After that I dreamt that I could blow people up just by thinking of it. That my friends was very upsetting. I don't particularly want to blow people up. It was like when you really should not be laughing but because you should not, you do. Try not to think about what you should not think about. It is impossible. Needless to say, I blew a lot of people up. I know. I need help.

I Should Knit and Other Random Stuff

The socks that I got into the mail has inspired me to get my knitting out and finish the dress that I started for Hannah. Becky has found a jumpsuit pattern. From that I think I can recreate the jumpsuit that I had mad for Angela when she was little. Family members will remember it. It was the one with the flower pot pocket on the knee and a poinsettia growing out of it. I can do different flowers and use different colors. I am jazzed to start on that but I need to finish the little dress first. I am going to get right on that. I hope I can remember where I left off. I have been altering the pattern.

I hope Frankie cooperates with the knitting plan. She is napping now. I hope she does not do like last night and wake up to play around 11:00pm. She is doing pretty good and seems to be settling down somewhat. She did pee on my office floor today. I thought I would let her play in my office while I watched. She is so fast. I guess she still thinks that this room is her bathroom. I will get some of those enzymes and try that. She has not been using the rest of the house in this manner. She has be a good girl for the most part.

When Becky gets here I will see if we by this I mean she can get some video of her and Roscoe playing. It is so funny especially when she rolls when he rolls and when she wrestles with him. This video will possibly be cuter than the piano playing cat. Alright...you caught me with my tongue in my cheek.

I took Shyla cat in to get her stitches removed. The good news is that she does not have cancer. I am so relieved. We do have to watch the site of the growth to make sure it does not come back. She was a good girl at the vet. She did not even flinch when the stitches came out. She is also getting better at taking her medicine. I gave it to her all by myself tonight and did not even wrap her in a towel. I just pried her mouth open and shot it in.

Am I boring you to tears yet? I am just about boring myself to tears so I guess I should quit while I am ahead.

Oh, Becky should be here tomorrow so I can take all kinds of pictures of my grandkids and have some different things to post about! Thank goodness!

Happy Socks

Look what I found in the mail yesterday!! They are from Fluffy. They are a perfect fit and comfy as can be. These socks have just put me into a whole new sock bracket. The only problem with that is that I have never knit socks and I am not sure that I can pull that off. They are not easy to do. I think that as soon as I get some of my other projects finished, I will have to give it the old college try.

Fluffy named the socks Happy Socks and yes, they do indeed make me feel happy. You can't really see the design in these pictures. They have a nice design knitted into them that I like very much. She has also in the past sent me a pair of fantastic mittens and smaller versions of the Happy Socks for Hannah and Abby. Those little Happy Socks are adorable. Now I can match!

Thank you ever so much Fluffy. That made my day.

Everybody Is Doing It

This is one of my favorite Youtube videos. I want a piano and but only if the cat comes with. This was all I was going to post today but I remembered that I had promised a picture of Libby bean's new nails and then I remembered that somebody had requested more puppy pictures. Hope you all enjoy.

Now the battle will be even.

Let's see how long you get to stay out this time. Frankie is a feisty dog. She usually ends up back in her crate rather quickly for a time out after thinking that my hands are a chew toy.

Does she look like she has grown. She looks bigger to us.

These two are becoming good friends. Roscoe is teaching her how to be a dog. She mimics him. If he rolls, she rolls. He disciplines her. If she get too overbearing and pesky he puts her down. He is such a good dog. He does steel her sticks though. It makes me laugh. If she manages to come out of the shrubs with a really nice find, he walks up to her, bends down and ever so gently takes the stick. He then proceeds to chew said stick into tiny bits which is what he loves to do on his list of loves. It is right next to retrieving sticks out of the water. Frankie can do nothing about her stick even though she tries real hard. He just stands there stoically while she jumps all over him and chews away.

She is a mischievous little thing. She gets into anything and has a temper when you thwart her. We have been having an ongoing battle over the bark mulch around the Maple tree in the backyard. This battle always has me winning but she is so persistent and stubborn. I remembered that I had a spray deterrent that I had bought when Roscoe was a pup and had decided to chew a hole in a mattress. I sprayed the bark. You should have seen her. She was so confused. I was out in the back laughing my head off. Ahhhhh Little girl, you don't know what you are up against. Anyway, it was nice because it was one less fight.

No Post

Does this count? Arghhh! I don't care.

It's All Free

I had such weird dreams last night. This is due partly because of Frankie rooming in. She sleeps best if I put her crate up by my head and she can see me and hear me. She wakes up frequently, beats up her toy or fights with her blanket then usually goes right back to sleep within five minutes or so. This is accompanied with a lot repositioning and with puppy grunts and sighs: "Ur ur ur murrr ur ur." This wakes me so I know I am dreaming. Just saying in case you could not figure out that bit of rocket science!

I can't remember all of the dreams. I do know that at one point I thought I had been laying awake except for the fact that my fantasy was way too detailed and strange to be an awake fantasy. I dream a lot about hospitals. This requires no explanation, rocket science is not required. Anyway, Becky was in the hospital having another baby. Whew!So far so good! She told me to take Sammy out for a bit because he was going stir crazy. We went out into a nice sitting room where I proceeded to get caught up in a really neat magazine that was just full of juicy Hollywood gossip that I needed to read about: Oh my goodness, wow, how incredible!`I never knew. Well I never! The thing that bugs me the most about this is the fact that I can not for the life of me remember who or what the gossip was about. Then....I glanced up to discover that Sammy was no where to be seen! Oh horror! I shot out of that waiting room like hmmm... how about this Lightning McQueen! Sorry, my head is always at a loss for good metaphors.

You can imagine my joy when I found him happily playing in the giant sandbox in the main lobby that was located right beside the petting zoo which was closed for lunch. However....before I could get to him he took off, jumped into a miniature bus and drove off down the hall. Let me tell you that bus was fast and could Sammy ever drive, spiked hair and all. I finally caught up with him and was determined to keep a close watch on him. As we were on the way back to see his mom, we passed a kiosk that looked like a gift shop except everything inside was free! FREE!!! Unbelievable! Conveniently at that time Angela showed up. We got a shopping cart. They did not have bags for stuff but we figured that it didn't matter, we could easily just chuck everything into the trunk. We put Sammy into the child seat where he would not be able to get lost on us or distract us.

We threw into the cart: purses, cute baby cloths, cloths for to fit a twelve year old Come on! It was free. Pfft! We got free candles, backscratchers, a light fixture, rick-0-rack and knick knacks give the dog a bone. The best of all, I spotted some towels. I knew that Angela needed some new beach towels for her trip to El Salvador. Oh, clap clap! They looked like nice big ones! I unfolded one for her to get a good look. Now here is the absolute funny part: the towels had a picture of a bikini clad girl on them but the eyes and mouth were cut out so that you could put it over your face and your eyes and lips would show. The towel also had the boobs cut out so that you could stick your boobs through. Bwaa hahahaha! What a photo opportunity.

A Dogs Desire

Well, I may not really have a post for today, not a proper post anyway seeing as how blogger is taking forever to up load my pictures. Blogger has failed me before and I think today is going to be another one of those days. Let me look again. Just a little peek. Ummm. No. I think the only thing that I hate more is when Cafe World looses my blue roses. Opps, there the photos are! Clap clap! Yes, this makes me happy as I really am tired and did not want to have to actually try to write something. Pictures of the pets are really, really easy. Maybe tomorrow I will try to write about something other than pets.

Coming Out To Play

The one thing that has helped Roscoe put up with Frankie's antics is this stupid tiny ball that I got for the little dog. He thinks it should be his and is so in love obsessed with it that she can pretty much do anything bite ears as long as he has it in his mouth or close by.

What a maroon.

New Blogging Buddy

Frankie is well on the way to being the second most spoiled dog in Saskatchewan. She doesn't like to be on the floor all by herself and Roscoe has decided that she cannot lay about with him just yet. Every time she tries he gets up and moves. I think he thinks it is undignified. He has the mistaken idea that he is a dignified sort but we all really know him as nothing but a big galoot.



She has decided that it is nice to lay on a towel by my chest in front of the computer while I do all my blogging stuff. She doesn't seem to mind Farm Town, Cafe world and seems love to watch Bejewelled. My girl and I are getting along just fine! Yes we are...Yes we are! Ouch! That is my arm that you are biting! Owwww!


She is getting used to her crate at night. Last night I got more sleep than the night before. I will be happy when her bladder develops. She has to get out twice a night to do her stuff. I keep my parka by the bed and she is very good about getting down to business and takes very little time to settle back down and go to sleep. I hope that this trend continues. I am a very grumpy person when sleep deprived, so grumpy that I don't even like myself.

I smell like a puppy

She love shoes...Roscoe love socks

Mike has to hold her still

She is tiny, you should see the itty bitty collar I bought for her!

Franky loves Roscoe and all she wants to do is play with him and be his friend. Roscoe on the other hand is not sure what to make of this tiny, fast moving and ear nipping little thing. He growls at her. She is only two and a half pounds. She would fit nicely in his mouth. I think he could swallow her whole. Needless to say, all contact at this point has to be carefully supervised. She seems to be very interested in the cats too. I kept her away from Libby. I need to clip her claws. Libby looks like she could swallow this puppy whole too.

Franky is very sweet and so far seems to have a perfect temperament. She does not cower yet is not overly aggressive either. I can roll her on her back and she just tries to either wiggle loose or play with my hand. She seems to like to sleep in her cat crate so that is great. She is a greedy little thing and eats like a little piggy. I will have to be careful because I don't think she knows when to quit eating. The grand kids are going to love her and want to take her home. She is so tiny and when she tries to chew your fingers it just tickles.

The one thing that she can do is fart up a storm. Whoowee! You would not think that stink could come out of such a little thing!!! I will have to take her outside on a little leash. She is so tiny she can get under anything and I am afraid that she will do just that and I won't be able to get her out with out having to destroy something.