My trip to Mexico.

I am sorry guys I was unable to take any photos of this trip because as usual I forgot my camera. I wish I did have some picture to show you because even though it lasted for one night it was very interesting and I had many unbelievable adventures.

It was an adventure from the very beginning. My mom of very advanced years decided that she should tag along and had bought herself a ticket and was there in her wheelchair waiting for me at the airport with a small bag in hand. All she had packed were a couple of changes of underwear and some Scope mouthwash. When I mentioned the fact that she really was not prepared very well for the trip and perhaps should stay home she smiled one of her wicked "you don't know anything" smiles and told me that we would shop. I was very alarmed at this because I did have a very full itinerary planned and shopping was not on the list. At this time I could not tell you for the life of me what that important itinerary was but I knew that I had a purpose for my visit to Mexico and I sure did not want her messing with it.

Upon reaching my destination somehow I got separated from Mom and I found myself out on the mean streets alone in an area where I felt very uncomfortable and afraid. I knew that I was being followed so I ducked into a hotel and bolted for the very first room that was not locked hoping to hide out and with a bit of luck lose those that were in pursuit of me. Did I fail to mention that this room was already being occupied by somebody else? It was John that brought this to my attention when he told me that maybe we should find another hiding place. Always in my darkest and most frightening moments John was by my side so it was no surprise to me to find him there if only until I could find my way out of the woods so to speak. He told me to hide under the bed. I tried. I did not fit. We decided to hide behind the bed and keep silent and wait. It worked thank goodness. I decided to leave there and backtrack a bit. I figured that I did not have much time before they came back and checked out where I was a the moment. Back on the street I noticed a hilled area. It was housed with very expensive homes. I decided that maybe I could find some help there, phone a cab or something. I headed to the first mansion. The whole yard was not grassed but paved with golden marble. I sat down to think and felt the warmth flow through me. Soon a gentleman came along and sat down beside me. It was the owner of the property. I explained to him my dilemma and he told me to feel free to sit safely on his property as long as I felt the need to do so. Did I mention that a small stream ran along side of his property and that going up the stream and down the stream was a steady stream of sad, poverty stricken and homeless people? A more pitiful bunch I have never seen. I mentioned them to him. He told me that he had never noticed them before I had pointed them out. At this he left and told me to have a nice day. I guess he went back to his happy but oblivious life.

My next stop on this eventful night was a visit to one of Mexico's aboriginal people groups. They resided in a forested area that was very lush and green and isolated in huts that were woven with twigs. It is a very ingenious construction or at least that is what I thought at the time. As I was seated on the ground on a blanket I was pondering what in the world I was going to do with all the guns that I had spread out before me and that were given to me by the friendly, hospitable and generous hosts that I did not want to offend by not accepting their gift. I guess that after hearing of how I had been chased about upon my arrival to their fair country they decided that weaponry was the way to go in gifting me. At this time my good missionary friend Pastor Paul happened along. I asked him what to do with the guns. He told me not to worry he knew a good cheap way to get them back to Canada for me. I told him I did not want to get them back to Canada. He gave me a look that said "you must be addled in the brain" and then firmly told me that he would get them cheaply home for me so that was that about the guns. I figured that when I got home I could simply hand them over to the firearm regulators. Yup. That made the most sense.

Next on the itinerary was a myriad of speaking engagements. Upon hearing about what was being expected of me I was indeed extremely alarmed. I had not prepared for this. I told my guide that it was like my mom taking a vacation armed with only clean underwear and Scope except I did not even have that and not only that, there was no time to shop either as I was expected to go on stage at that very moment. I told him that I would much rather go back to being chased about by unknown assailants. He told me to never mind and that all I had to do was to go up and tell the people about my life in Canada. They simply wanted to hear a very ordinary, mundane and rather boring Canadian speak and they thought that I filled this description very well. I had to agree as I could not think up any argument against his description of me on the spot. It pretty well describes me to a Tee. What could I say. Speak I did.

After the speaking was all said and done I enquired of my guide if he knew anything about how my mom was doing. Up to this time she had completely escaped my thoughts. He told me that she was doing well. She had to stay in her hotel as she had no clean cloths to go out in and had to wash her stuff out in the sink and sit naked until they dried. She had grown tired of that so she had decided that it was time to give it up and go home.

After all the speaking I was escorted to help at a new project in the heart of Mexico City. My missionary friends in that city had acquired an old castle that they were converting into a housing project for the homeless. It was a beautiful old stone building probably about five stories tall. It had turrets and gabled windows. All it really needed was a good cleaning. I was handed a mop and bucket. I set it down and asked if I could go exploring a little and meet the rest of the group assembled there who were helping with the project. In the first room that I poked my head into was one of our old pastors wife Glenda. She was busy cleaning windows. This was no easy chore as the windows were very high. She was precariously perched high up on one of the sills busily punching the screen out as it was literally clogged with dirt and grime. Down to the ground it went with a thud. She continued on to the next window, up the ladder, over to the sill, balance there and punch out the next screen five stories off the ground. How do you spell crazy? C-R-A-Z-Y. Yup, that is how! As I did not want to be the one who watched her fall to her death I decided to leave that room and do some more exploring this fantastic place. Pftt...I had no problem leaving the cleaning to others. Out in the hall something scurried by my feet. I followed the patter of its little feet into the room it went into. I was pulled up short. It was like a scene from the movie...ahhh.....what was the name of that movie? You know the one that Micheal Jackson sang the title song for? The one with all the rats? Anyway, the room was full of rats, There were blond rats, red furred rats, brunettes, long haired rats, sleek grey rats, old rats and bald baby rats. Ohhh! I got it!!! Ben! That was the name of the movie and the song.




Now before you go all sentimental on me and envision that we all decided to leave the home in order that it now become a home for destitute rats with a rat called Ben as its leader and everything was happy ever after and all that jazz, get a grip on reality. Sad to say to you that it did not end happy for the rats at all. After a group meeting it was unanimously decided that in order for the castle not to end up looking like the last episode of Hoarders I watched where the gentleman in that show decided to hoard bunnies and they had all ran a muck and bore holes through the wall and left the floor covered in six inches of feces, we decided to exterminate the rats. My daughter's brother-in-law Neil was the head exterminator and he murdered more rats than anybody else. In the end there was a mountain of dead rats and after letting them set for a bit until we were sure there was no more rat movement we placed them into coffins of empty soda bottles. The little rats went into the six ounce bottles and the big rats went into the litre containers. We stuffed that mess into big black garbage bags and set them out for the garbage collectors.

After all that, I was ready to go home. yup.

I Need Help

OMG...It IS November first. I almost forgot. Whew! That was close. It is almost midnight too! I don't have a clue how I almost forgot. I am sitting amid a pile of candy wrapper litter and all the other remnants of Halloween. NaBloPoMo always comes directly after Halloween and left over candy always sustains me for at least a weeks worth of blogging and that alone should have clued me in.

It is hard to believe that a whole year has gone by. It is hard to believe that I survived. It is hard to believe that I did NaBloPoMo last year.This year is going to be a challenge. My life is pretty darned boring and for the most part uneventful. I would love my friends to help me by coming up with topics to write about. If I learned one thing last year it would be that I can get by with a little help from my friends...so...HELP ME. Feel free to give me a topic or a word or just anything to help me get going. PLEASE...I am begging you or else you are going to get blogs about dogs, cats and dreams.

For instance: I dreamt that I had become a rock star. You should have seen me on stage playing my instrument, the Jock-in-a-box...oops and HEY! They should make those....I meant to write: the Jack-in-a-box. Could I ever crank that box fast. The singer had a hard time keeping up. The crowd loved it. After that I dreamt that I could blow people up just by thinking of it. That my friends was very upsetting. I don't particularly want to blow people up. It was like when you really should not be laughing but because you should not, you do. Try not to think about what you should not think about. It is impossible. Needless to say, I blew a lot of people up. I know. I need help.

Well Durn!

A friend of mine has lost 80 pounds on Herbal Magic. She looks fabulous. I thought that maybe it would be something that I should look into. I am glad that I checked it out on line before making an appointment. In a nut shell they use high pressure sales tactics. They like to use a lot of guilt to help you part with your money and they want lots and lots of your money, enough money to pay for a very nice vacation. Most of the herbs can be bought at your neighborhood health food store for a fraction of the cost. I think I will go and visit Lovey at Natures Health Food Store instead and then use my Weight Watchers point system and then just get oft my fat lazy duff and walk on the treadmill. So...it is back to the grind. There is no magic. Must have been dreaming.

Dreams

I have been thinking of all the dreams that we had together, you know, all the things we hoped to do when we retired and all the things that we wanted to accomplish. Some of them were pipe dreams, things that we both knew would never happen but we would have fun thinking them up and sharing them with each other. Some of them were things I wish we would have worked harder at attaining, like the trip to Mexico City to visit dear friends, instead of putting them off thinking that we would have time later in life. Some of those wishes were simple things that we just did not get around to doing or things that I would jam out on because I am a chicken and you did not want to do them alone. I think of all the things that you did not get to do like ride in a hot air balloon or shoot the rapids. I wish I would have organized things so you could have had those experiences.

I do know that if they were that important to you, ya would have done them. I believe eventually you would done them had time not ran out. The one consoling thing is that you did get to live a very full life that was full of great relationships as well as fun and did do most of the things on your wish list and some that were on mine as well. I know that the Lord is pleased with you for you did not live a selfish life and made many sacrifices for me and the children. You did not begrudge us for that. I am sure you got to hear "Well done John." That is what I think and say.

At one point, just a few short hours before you died, you raised your hands and was staring at them, slowly turning them in every direction and studying them as if you could learn something important from them. It struck me at the time that your work here was finished. I am glad that I was able to thank you for all the years we had together and for how good you took care of me and the kids. John, if you can hear me, I cannot thank you enough and I love you forever. Yes, I know that you know! I just can't help myself and need to say this over and over.

I have decided that I should not chuck the list. I am going to carefully consider it and do some of the things on it except for the shooting of the rapids and the hot air balloon ride, thank you very much. I know you are in heaven cheering me on. I can hear your voice saying: Go Beasely Go! and if I do something stupid like figure I can ride a motorcycle...well...I know you will be rolling those incredible green eyes and yes there will be a hint of laughter in them. I know you want me to carry on and grab life by the horns. I am going to try real hard and "give er snoose" as you used to say or "drive it like you own it".

It's All Free

I had such weird dreams last night. This is due partly because of Frankie rooming in. She sleeps best if I put her crate up by my head and she can see me and hear me. She wakes up frequently, beats up her toy or fights with her blanket then usually goes right back to sleep within five minutes or so. This is accompanied with a lot repositioning and with puppy grunts and sighs: "Ur ur ur murrr ur ur." This wakes me so I know I am dreaming. Just saying in case you could not figure out that bit of rocket science!

I can't remember all of the dreams. I do know that at one point I thought I had been laying awake except for the fact that my fantasy was way too detailed and strange to be an awake fantasy. I dream a lot about hospitals. This requires no explanation, rocket science is not required. Anyway, Becky was in the hospital having another baby. Whew!So far so good! She told me to take Sammy out for a bit because he was going stir crazy. We went out into a nice sitting room where I proceeded to get caught up in a really neat magazine that was just full of juicy Hollywood gossip that I needed to read about: Oh my goodness, wow, how incredible!`I never knew. Well I never! The thing that bugs me the most about this is the fact that I can not for the life of me remember who or what the gossip was about. Then....I glanced up to discover that Sammy was no where to be seen! Oh horror! I shot out of that waiting room like hmmm... how about this Lightning McQueen! Sorry, my head is always at a loss for good metaphors.

You can imagine my joy when I found him happily playing in the giant sandbox in the main lobby that was located right beside the petting zoo which was closed for lunch. However....before I could get to him he took off, jumped into a miniature bus and drove off down the hall. Let me tell you that bus was fast and could Sammy ever drive, spiked hair and all. I finally caught up with him and was determined to keep a close watch on him. As we were on the way back to see his mom, we passed a kiosk that looked like a gift shop except everything inside was free! FREE!!! Unbelievable! Conveniently at that time Angela showed up. We got a shopping cart. They did not have bags for stuff but we figured that it didn't matter, we could easily just chuck everything into the trunk. We put Sammy into the child seat where he would not be able to get lost on us or distract us.

We threw into the cart: purses, cute baby cloths, cloths for to fit a twelve year old Come on! It was free. Pfft! We got free candles, backscratchers, a light fixture, rick-0-rack and knick knacks give the dog a bone. The best of all, I spotted some towels. I knew that Angela needed some new beach towels for her trip to El Salvador. Oh, clap clap! They looked like nice big ones! I unfolded one for her to get a good look. Now here is the absolute funny part: the towels had a picture of a bikini clad girl on them but the eyes and mouth were cut out so that you could put it over your face and your eyes and lips would show. The towel also had the boobs cut out so that you could stick your boobs through. Bwaa hahahaha! What a photo opportunity.

Summer Dreaming

John, Mike (our son) and myself spent the better part of the afternoon pretending what we would buy if we won the lottery. We were given tickets for the Saskatoon Sports and Leisure Show. I wonder how many millions of dollars of boats and RV's were there as well as hot tubs and any other luxury that you could imagine. Most of the boats were what I would call extreme boats, extremely large and luxurious! Of course, I forgot to bring my camera.

Saskatoon Retriever Club was showing off some very beautiful and well trained animals. I enjoyed watching the dogs do their thing. I think Roscoe would have made a good hunting dog. He will retrieve anything out of the water, anything that he can find. This includes people. It is impossible to lay about on a flotation devise with him swimming about. He will obsessively take you to shore. I am sure that he would continue to fetch things out of the water until he got so tired he would drown himself. He does very well with directions too. We simply have to point to where the item is and he will change direction and get it. The only problem is...he hates loud sharp noises like gunshot.

The Sham Wow people were at the show. I bought some. I will let you know how they work on drying the dog after his bath. I am sure you are all dying to know how they work out in this regard.

The whole outing made me wish for summer. Almost all of the displays were items that you would enjoy most in the summer. We did take pamphlets to check over regarding house boating on Lake Of The Woods. The lake is full of islands and beaches. There would be no chance that a person could get bored as there is so much to explore. We have wanted to vacation here for a long time. The fishing is supposed to be fantastic. Who wants to come with us house boating?