Saturday, November 06, 2010


Sometimes I think about weird insignificant things, alright, let me correct that before somebody else does. Often I think about weird and insignificant things. Ya should have seen what I just wrote before spell check! I can hardly function on the keyboard this morning let alone spell. It feels like my hands are not really attached to my body or the fingers belong to somebody else and I am trying to use them for the first time. I wonder what it would be like to have all the fingers on your hands transplanted with fingers from somebody else. What would it be like hypothetically if that happened to me and I got man fingers with hair growing out of the knuckles or worse yet fingers from a chimpanzee. Perhaps there would be some positive. Maybe I would not be so challenged when I am fighting with a stubborn jar lid or I would be really good at getting kites out of trees. Oh but, I digress. That is not the insignificant thing that I was going to write about although I have to admit it is typical of all the insignificant things that I think about. The insignificant thing that I did plan to write about is: Where do all those childhood potty jokes come from? Are you sitting there and scratching you head? Are there no potty jokes floating around in your brain that were planted there during your childhood just waiting for some odd cue to cause them to come blurting out again into the light of conscience? Things like:

Book: Yellow River
Author: I. P. Nightly

or that beloved poem:

How dry I am
How wet I'll be
When I can't find the bathroom key

and there is the old stand by:

Jean had a machine
Joe got it going
My dad let a fart that blew it all apart

Truth be told, may dad could blow one that could destroy machinery especially after drinking buttermilk. I used to think that some perverted old man used to think these things up and whisper them into the vulnerable ears of little children. The older I get and the more I am around little children, boys in particular, the more I am not so sure about this theory. I think the reason that I have not rethought my beliefs is the fact that I spent the time my kids were growing up in shock that resulted in to being pretty much oblivious to pretty much everything as a survival technique. After listening to all the scatological humour that my grandsons enjoy so much and listening to them try to outdo each other I am sure that such things evolved from the fact that all their brain cells have not been as of yet filled with information and they are simply trying to fill the void. Eventually Ben, Sam or Noah will hit on something that rhymes with buttocks and perhaps it will go viral spreading across the globe although some of the genius may be lost in translation but in the mind of a child, it really does not matter.


Becky said...

Did you watch Grey's Anatomy the other week? They transplanted a guy's arms. Which totally made me wonder if that's even close to the realm of possibility. So of course I googled it. And guess what? Totally happened!


Wild hey?

(Can this be my post for today?)

shurr (That HAS to be a sign.)

Christine said...

LOL It has to be a sign. Go for it. I stole an idea from you yesterday. It will save me having to goggle it as well.

Sue said...

I have always thought it would be nice to get a foot transplant. No more bunions, ingrown toenails (although I did get rid of those), fallen arches and the like. Just a nice size 7 so that I could wear pretty shoes.

Cindi said...

Now all I have repeating in my head is this:

Me Chinese
Me no dumb
Me stick cork in camel's bum.
Camel go pfft
Me go zoom
That's how me get home so soon. :)

As for transplants right now I'd go for a neck down transplant. Nice long legs, nice little feet, a belly that isn't retaining any baby weight! I would like my fingers though. They'd have to transplant my hands onto my new arms which would have to be in shape to be able to lift my giant manchild who refuses to walk!!

Lucy said...

I have always blamed all the gross jokes on little boys and big boys! I know very politically incorrect and sexist of me (LOL)

Toad said...

I have one but I can't say it on here.

Eve said...

I see you're making the every day posting. And your posts are a lot more fun than mine. You inspire me to look beyond who's the sickest today for my next post.

I remember all those old potty jokes. I think my father enlightened me. LOL

The Invisible Mo said...

Having had five boys around I can say they do come up with some **ahem** interesting stuff. Very interesting stuff. I had a friend (female) who used to come over and actually have burping and farting contests with my boys. Crazy! LOL.