Thursday, January 06, 2011

My trip to Mexico.

I am sorry guys I was unable to take any photos of this trip because as usual I forgot my camera. I wish I did have some picture to show you because even though it lasted for one night it was very interesting and I had many unbelievable adventures.

It was an adventure from the very beginning. My mom of very advanced years decided that she should tag along and had bought herself a ticket and was there in her wheelchair waiting for me at the airport with a small bag in hand. All she had packed were a couple of changes of underwear and some Scope mouthwash. When I mentioned the fact that she really was not prepared very well for the trip and perhaps should stay home she smiled one of her wicked "you don't know anything" smiles and told me that we would shop. I was very alarmed at this because I did have a very full itinerary planned and shopping was not on the list. At this time I could not tell you for the life of me what that important itinerary was but I knew that I had a purpose for my visit to Mexico and I sure did not want her messing with it.

Upon reaching my destination somehow I got separated from Mom and I found myself out on the mean streets alone in an area where I felt very uncomfortable and afraid. I knew that I was being followed so I ducked into a hotel and bolted for the very first room that was not locked hoping to hide out and with a bit of luck lose those that were in pursuit of me. Did I fail to mention that this room was already being occupied by somebody else? It was John that brought this to my attention when he told me that maybe we should find another hiding place. Always in my darkest and most frightening moments John was by my side so it was no surprise to me to find him there if only until I could find my way out of the woods so to speak. He told me to hide under the bed. I tried. I did not fit. We decided to hide behind the bed and keep silent and wait. It worked thank goodness. I decided to leave there and backtrack a bit. I figured that I did not have much time before they came back and checked out where I was a the moment. Back on the street I noticed a hilled area. It was housed with very expensive homes. I decided that maybe I could find some help there, phone a cab or something. I headed to the first mansion. The whole yard was not grassed but paved with golden marble. I sat down to think and felt the warmth flow through me. Soon a gentleman came along and sat down beside me. It was the owner of the property. I explained to him my dilemma and he told me to feel free to sit safely on his property as long as I felt the need to do so. Did I mention that a small stream ran along side of his property and that going up the stream and down the stream was a steady stream of sad, poverty stricken and homeless people? A more pitiful bunch I have never seen. I mentioned them to him. He told me that he had never noticed them before I had pointed them out. At this he left and told me to have a nice day. I guess he went back to his happy but oblivious life.

My next stop on this eventful night was a visit to one of Mexico's aboriginal people groups. They resided in a forested area that was very lush and green and isolated in huts that were woven with twigs. It is a very ingenious construction or at least that is what I thought at the time. As I was seated on the ground on a blanket I was pondering what in the world I was going to do with all the guns that I had spread out before me and that were given to me by the friendly, hospitable and generous hosts that I did not want to offend by not accepting their gift. I guess that after hearing of how I had been chased about upon my arrival to their fair country they decided that weaponry was the way to go in gifting me. At this time my good missionary friend Pastor Paul happened along. I asked him what to do with the guns. He told me not to worry he knew a good cheap way to get them back to Canada for me. I told him I did not want to get them back to Canada. He gave me a look that said "you must be addled in the brain" and then firmly told me that he would get them cheaply home for me so that was that about the guns. I figured that when I got home I could simply hand them over to the firearm regulators. Yup. That made the most sense.

Next on the itinerary was a myriad of speaking engagements. Upon hearing about what was being expected of me I was indeed extremely alarmed. I had not prepared for this. I told my guide that it was like my mom taking a vacation armed with only clean underwear and Scope except I did not even have that and not only that, there was no time to shop either as I was expected to go on stage at that very moment. I told him that I would much rather go back to being chased about by unknown assailants. He told me to never mind and that all I had to do was to go up and tell the people about my life in Canada. They simply wanted to hear a very ordinary, mundane and rather boring Canadian speak and they thought that I filled this description very well. I had to agree as I could not think up any argument against his description of me on the spot. It pretty well describes me to a Tee. What could I say. Speak I did.

After the speaking was all said and done I enquired of my guide if he knew anything about how my mom was doing. Up to this time she had completely escaped my thoughts. He told me that she was doing well. She had to stay in her hotel as she had no clean cloths to go out in and had to wash her stuff out in the sink and sit naked until they dried. She had grown tired of that so she had decided that it was time to give it up and go home.

After all the speaking I was escorted to help at a new project in the heart of Mexico City. My missionary friends in that city had acquired an old castle that they were converting into a housing project for the homeless. It was a beautiful old stone building probably about five stories tall. It had turrets and gabled windows. All it really needed was a good cleaning. I was handed a mop and bucket. I set it down and asked if I could go exploring a little and meet the rest of the group assembled there who were helping with the project. In the first room that I poked my head into was one of our old pastors wife Glenda. She was busy cleaning windows. This was no easy chore as the windows were very high. She was precariously perched high up on one of the sills busily punching the screen out as it was literally clogged with dirt and grime. Down to the ground it went with a thud. She continued on to the next window, up the ladder, over to the sill, balance there and punch out the next screen five stories off the ground. How do you spell crazy? C-R-A-Z-Y. Yup, that is how! As I did not want to be the one who watched her fall to her death I decided to leave that room and do some more exploring this fantastic place. Pftt...I had no problem leaving the cleaning to others. Out in the hall something scurried by my feet. I followed the patter of its little feet into the room it went into. I was pulled up short. It was like a scene from the movie...ahhh.....what was the name of that movie? You know the one that Micheal Jackson sang the title song for? The one with all the rats? Anyway, the room was full of rats, There were blond rats, red furred rats, brunettes, long haired rats, sleek grey rats, old rats and bald baby rats. Ohhh! I got it!!! Ben! That was the name of the movie and the song.

Now before you go all sentimental on me and envision that we all decided to leave the home in order that it now become a home for destitute rats with a rat called Ben as its leader and everything was happy ever after and all that jazz, get a grip on reality. Sad to say to you that it did not end happy for the rats at all. After a group meeting it was unanimously decided that in order for the castle not to end up looking like the last episode of Hoarders I watched where the gentleman in that show decided to hoard bunnies and they had all ran a muck and bore holes through the wall and left the floor covered in six inches of feces, we decided to exterminate the rats. My daughter's brother-in-law Neil was the head exterminator and he murdered more rats than anybody else. In the end there was a mountain of dead rats and after letting them set for a bit until we were sure there was no more rat movement we placed them into coffins of empty soda bottles. The little rats went into the six ounce bottles and the big rats went into the litre containers. We stuffed that mess into big black garbage bags and set them out for the garbage collectors.

After all that, I was ready to go home. yup.


Melanie said...

this is, in a word, amazing.

Someone who's all into dream interpretation could make a killing off of you!

The Invisible Mo said...

Yeah, so it sounds to me like you have somehow gotten your brain waves mixed up with mine. I've been forgetting my camera lately, and as it turns out we watched that same hoarders show (quite possibly at the same time) about the bunnies. (They did find mice, there, remember?) And I do have voles which are somewhat like rats. I did get Clippity-Clop out of the house alive, but had to murder his buddy because he would not cooperate and go into the humane trap I tried to set for him. I'm sure there are still plenty of them outside somewhere and hopefully they will stay out there where they belong. I didn't stuff his body into soda bottles, however, since it was my son's job to dispose of him without me having to see him. I have been feeling rather guilty about that.
In addition, I have always had a fear of visiting Mexico, although if my mom went, I am sure she would pack a little better than your mom did.
I have, however, thought quite a bit about visiting both Africa and Australia which ties into the aboriginal tribes and grass/twig huts. Somehow our brains are connecting and you are somehow mystically dreaming for both of us, because, quite frankly, I just don't have the time right now to do much of anything but to farm on Farm Town.
And bake.
And make jam or marmalade.
Maybe you can come visit sometime in the next couple of months and we can get out the foil and some metal colanders and really mix things up. Who knows? I could use the controllers to my Wii and make you bowl or box for me while I sit and rearrange my farms, or vice versa. It could be fun! LOL.
I love it that you remembered most of this crazy trip, but it sure would have been nice to have some pictures.


Sue said...

You do have crazy dreamS! It is amazing how you remember all those details.

Eve said...

Glad your trip to Mexico did not leave you with Montezuma's Revenge. ;)

Toad said...

wow that is something.

i don't know how you do it.

Becky said...

Oh man. I'll bet you can guess what my favourite part of that dream is right?

The Neil part. What else. That part was FANTASTIC.


As in, I eSPESScially liked that part.

Avaelyn said...

WOW! I love how detailed your dreams are. I think the best part was when your mom only brought a few changes of underwear and Scope. AMAZING. I LOL'd.