Friday, November 16, 2007

It Is a Crying Kind of a Day

I am crying because I am happy. My daughters have acquired third row, center seats for The Phantom of (you guessed it) The Opera! I am crying because it doesn't come to our city untill May.

I am crying because I feel inadequate today. I have been doing some mental innovatory of my life and all the unfinished or failed projects and activities. I feel like a loser. I have had a life long tendency to be all "gung-ho" start something well...and phtt...finish poor or not at all. Here is a list of what I suck at:
  1. Speed Skating: I think the only race that I won took place in Leadville Colorado. The poor shlob that I beat had never even wore a pair of speed skates before. We were the only skaters in this race. I received a medal for this! Now..this activity shouldn't really count because technically I did not select this activity for myself. It all had to do with the desires of my father. I have put it on the list because as an adult I thought it would be a good plan to try and skate in some "Masters" races. I didn't even manage to skate in one! Oh...sigh...
  2. Scuba Diving: I excelled in the theory studies and aced the written tests. I managed to pull of the lessons in the swimming pool even though I had to dig deep. I did not get my certification because I did not have the ka-ho-nas to do the required 60 foot open water dive. Oh...sigh...sigh
  3. Woodcarving: I do not have what it takes to be a real woodcarver! I did go to two different seminars and a class to try to find my niche. Seminar one was about chip carving. This type of carving gave me carpel tunnel for three weeks. In class one we carved a flat polar bear. I made it into a fridge magnet. I am not interested in carving fridge magnets. Seminar two was with a master relief carver. He told me that I had real problems with depth and perception. I found the whole exercise in seminar two difficult and confusing. Oh...mediocrity...I will have to settle. I guess that means I can keep sandpaper in my tool kit and continue happily using my improper technique. Sigh...sigh...
  4. Scrapbooking: I have already beaten this topic to death.
  5. Hairdressing: My "career" lasted a grand total of two months. The pay was poor and you guesses it.....
  6. Cooking: My idea of a well prepared meal consits of fried meat, toast and ketchup. I have trouble of sticking to recipes because I am deluded and think I can do it better. Ask John about the pot of beef barley soup I made last week.
  7. Painting: In over half of century of life I have managed to produce a grand total of two. I do not have the stick-to-it-ness to develop my desire to be a painter. Sigh...sigh
I am crying because I think the sweater I have been working on has a woonky pattern and I don't think it is going to work out well.

Why do I feel so sad today? All of the above?? I think "all of the above" is a ruse of my sub-conscious to mask the real source of why I feel so sad today. Being funny today just rings hollow. I had intentions of not blogging about Johns' (He is the love of my lie) cancer on the Coop. I wanted to keep this a place where I could escape for a few moments and let life be something different than it is...you know...change reality for a while. I have come to the realization...it is O.K. ...to be sad today. I think I will go and have a nap...

6 comments:

Christine said...

By the way...Becky...I would like you to know that I did copy and paste this post. I finally figured it out. This has cheered me up considerably and I don't feel like such a loser. I will avoid reading any Ecclesiastics today. I will pay attention to what I let my mind dwell on...anything good...any thing lovely...I will think on these things. I am going to have a nap.

Becky said...

Maybe you aren't the greatest cook in the world, or the craftiest scrap booker, but you're a great mom, an amazing gramma, and a person I am proud and blessed to know. Your imperfections make you even more lovable than you would be without them.

((((HUGS))))

Becky said...

Plus your woodcarving rocks my world. Even though you apparently have problems with depth and perception. (Which I disagree with anyways. I think your writing alone shows PLENTY of depth and perception.)

Melissa said...

You failed to mention that you are a Master knitter. And how long have you been doing that? Huh? Not too shabby if you ask me. And how many people have you shared these skills with. Yup. Pretty darn impressive. I think you're allowed a few "off" knitting projects every once in a while. And you can kick anybody's butt in the bubble game.

Christine said...

awww...you guys are so dear! I am laughing about that post this morning...eeeks...I forgot to list the dog training whole fly ball thing although maybe it doesn't count as Roscoe said he really wasn't interested.

Becky said...

Yes Mom, blame the dog.