Sunday, November 15, 2009

What Do You Do?

What do you do with a person in your life that is manipulative and seems to consistently make you feel like you are the worst person on the planet? The one that say you never phone even though you went and visited them two times a week ago and then horror of horrors didn't phone for one whole week. You try to tell them that you just phoned and they say that is only cause they phoned and left a message for you to phone. What do you do with a person that demands things of you and expects that you will drop whatever you are doing and run to do their bidding even though it is not an emergency and when you do not jump up and do what they want immediately decides you are neglecting them. How do you help a person that does not trust you? What do you do with a person that no matter what you do, it is not good enough. What do you do with the resentment and anger? What do you do with the guilt that you have because you feel like not talking to them or going to visit because almost every time you do you feel so bad after. What do you do when that person regularly tells you that you need to loose weight and has no problem doing this in front of others and justifies this because they are only worried about your health. What do you do with a person who for your whole life you cannot ever remember that person saying they are sorry for anything. The bible says to forgive seventy times seventy. What do you do when you are just so tired of all the games and you are not so sure that you can or will forgive anymore and that scares you to death. What do you do when you really don't have a choice but go back for more because in reality you actually do love this person? What do you do when the one person that you used to vent to and who understood the situation and who did not make you feel bad for your feelings and did not ever judge you is gone? The one person who encouraged you is not longer there to cheer you on, the one person who had the ability to make you laugh and had the confidence in you that you would always do the right thing? Sometimes I wish I was far far away. A sunny beach would suit me just fine about right now.


Sue said...

Oh Chris. I really am not sure what you do with a person like that. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Especially by someone you love. I know that you have gone above and beyond what most people would have done or what is expected of you.
Maybe someone really tough needs to go tell this person how much you are hurting because of the way they treat you.
I am so, so sorry that your best friend and confidant is gone. I know that I can't possibly fill his shoes but I have pretty big shoulders and am a good listener. So anytime you need to vent come on over!
I love you!

Becky said...

Can I come? (To the sunny place?)

And, I know it's not the same, but I understand, and I think you do great with her.

And to answer your question? I think the Eskimos may have had it right with the ice flows. (KIDDING. Mostly. BAD Becky. Naughty Becky. No soup for you.)

Christine said...

Well Becky...ya made me laugh and that is a good thing. It was just what the doctor ordered...well that and the bowl of ice cream that I am having right now. Ya, I know...I eat and eat and eat...LOL

footsack said...

That sounds like a nasty situation! I remember once I actually asked Pastor Paul that and he told me to walk away. Not with anger or bitterness in my heart but I did have the right to not be treated like that anymore.
I kind of think that in this it might be harder for you to do. I don't really know the situation but I feel really bad for you. Maybe you could just tell her how you really feel in an e mail or something?
Just a thought. A really good book to read on that is 'Boundaries'.

But that is just my two cents...I hope things get better for you :)

Becky said...

LOL. There's your answer Mom!

EMAIL her! Ahahahahahahaha!

(Sorry Aunty Mitz. I'm not laughing at you. I promise.)

Sue said...

The Ice flow thing is really funny, Becky!

Avaelyn said...

You know, I don't really know what to do. That's really tough. And I agree with Auntie Sue. Let's send some people over and say "Cut it out... or else."

We have a beach here. Sans the sun. And you probably wouldn't want to go there, either. Too rainy. You just come to my house and I will make you a delicious dinner.

I wish.

Christine said...

Aveelyn, I totally plan to come out for a vacation so when I do, I will want that dinner. :) Sounds wonderful to me.

The Invisible Mo said...

I don't know but if you figure it out clue me in.
I'm thinking of going to the beach during my 8 days off. It's not sunny, but you can come if you like. And Chris, you know you can phone me any time of day or night except while I'm at work. Just saying.

diana said...

lol... hopefully this person doesn't read your blog.

we are called to forgive. we are called to love. but that doesn't mean that we have to hold onto a friendship/relationship that isn't good for us. i believe you can walk away from it. at least until you're in a different place in your life that you feel like you can or want to handle it.

right now, you probably need more nurturing relationships. you need a friend who is there to support and encourage you. one that will walk with you through this grieving period and let you find yourself again. i hope you have those friends in your life right now.

Eve said...

Can I come sit with you on your beach?

Christine said...

Yes Eve, where do you want to go?

Avaelyn said...

Good. I can't wait.

Lucy said...

Unfortunately, we all know I can't help, I suck at this, I just go round and round with people who get under my skin, you need to call my mom, she will help you count to ten and stop you from well, doing something rash and she will also listen and she will tell you how wrong that person is but do the right thing and then you will want strangle my mom too (lol) but hey can I go to the beach with you????