Saturday, April 25, 2009

Hosta La Vista Baby!

It has been a whole week since this lady has posted. It was not necessarily because I had nothing to write about. Usually there are enough random thoughts rattling around in the attic, I can manage to come up with something, maybe not highly entertaining but something! Due to my last post about procrastination, I felt bad for my house and yard. This lady has been raking and raking and scrubbing and engaged in all sorts of drudgery. You are probably thinking that I had no time to post. Right? Well, you are wrong. I have had lots of time to play Bust A Move and Bejeweled. I did not post because I simply have to be able to procrastinate about something.

Before you feel sorry for me with all the drudgery and such, I did do other things this week. One of the things that I spent some time doing is my all time favorite activity of sleeping and you all know what that means. Sleeping = dreaming. Yes. Sometimes most of the time I have trouble falling asleep. That is when I have some time for my my second favorite activity. Reading. What am I reading? I am reading a spy/medical intrigue. I should know better than to read this before bed. My all time numero uno recurring dream involves me becoming a spy. Needless to say, I spent the night involved in all sorts of spying activities and I spent the night being chased and hunted by all sorts of dubious evil counter spy types. You know the sort. They all know kung foo and have weapons of mass destruction and they all plan to use it on little moi. Pardon my French and Spanish. It seems that my subconscious likes to use as much French and Spanish and German as it knows during my spy dreams. It must make them seem more authentic, not that the flame throwers and rocket launchers are not enough!

Somehow the spy dream morphed into more than a little bit of spying and being hunted. Somehow Canada post managed to find my safe house and sent me some mail. Ya... right! This is probably the least plausible part of my dream. I don't understand how my subconscious can have this much faith in them. I think that this is one to ask lExpateek's Dr. Owl. Maybe that unequaled, wise and astute feather brain can help to shed some light on the subject. Well, back to the mail. In the mail I received a subpoena to appear in court and was being charged with a criminal offense. Eeeeeek! Criminal charges! Now, you are probably thinking as most sane and lucid people would think that I was being charged with at least some of the carnage I had left in my wake resulting in the destruction and annihilation of the counter spys. Not! Buzz! Wrong answer! I was being charged with seven counts of wanton garbaging of Orange Crush bottle caps! Seven of them. One, two three, four, five six and seven. Apparently, I had not removed them before I took them to the bottle recycle people and they had turned me in. Oh people, BEWARE! My nice spy dream had turned into a real nightmare. I woke up with sweat on my brow, hyperventilating and my heart pounding.

All I can say is that it was a good thing that I became a Canadian citizen on Thursday. People with criminal offenses can not become citizens. Whew! I got in just under the wire. I have to say, that it would be sort of fun to be arrested by the RCMP but only if they showed up dressed like this. Stupid camera! How dare you burr this wonderful Canadian symbol by delegating him to being nothing more than the red table cloth in the background!


16 comments:

expateek said...

Awesommmmmmmmmme! Congrats on your new citizenship-ness! Were the questions on the Canadian test difficult? As a dumb American,for me even naming the 10 provinces would pose a problem, so more kudos to ya, babe! That mountie in the background looks pretty cute. Shades of Dudley DooRight, eh?

Will give Dr. Owl a ring and see if he's available. xx

Lucy said...

Congratulations!!!
Stop reading before bed (lol)

Momisodes said...

Congratulations!

I love the photo.

Those are some wild dreams you have. I'm so glad you had a chance to catch up on some sleep though.

And Bejeweled? I get sucked in playing that for hours!

Becky said...

LOL. You're so awesomelly weird sometimes Mom. I just love you.

Sue said...

You do have the weirdest dreams! I think too maybe you need to read something a bit less spyish before bed :). But then your dreams would be boring.

Congrats on the citizenship!

Christine said...

Expateek: I am over 55 so I didn't have to write the test.

Lucy: I have to read to get sleepy.

Bientje said...

I just love to read this! And of course congratulations on your Canadian citizenship! Finally! Maybe you should read some romantic stuff before bed? ;-)
Oh, as to Bejeweled... here's another addict!

The Invisible Mo said...

So what is the sentencing range for that offense? Will I have to get some money together so I can come visit you in jail in your next dream?
haha.
You're funny! Great post!
My creative juices dried up, apparently. Although I do have a recipe I've been trying to post for several days. The sleep monster gets me before I can finish editing it.
Maybe I will go do that right now. Or as soon as I get to it, whichever comes first.

diana said...

congratulations! canada got one of our good ones =)

little erin said...

wait, your citizenship went through???/ that is fantastic!!! so happy for you!

Toad said...

You are so weird.

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